Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Action, Reaction

Things to do at Target while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they
aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we
have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

5. Put M&M's on layaway.

6. Move "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" signs to carpeted areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell others that you'll only
invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why don't
you people leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pretend to pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK
ME!!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
position and scream, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey we're out of toilet
paper in here."


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