Sunday, August 17, 2008
Almost wish I had had a cigar hanging out of my mouth at that very moment. It adds such an air of elitist snobbery, and makes one think that owner of said cigar must have somewhere very important to go later, in order to savor the experience fully.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we
have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Put M&M's on layaway.
6. Move "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell others that you'll only
invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why don't
you people leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pretend to pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK
ME!!!! PICK ME!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
position and scream, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey we're out of toilet
paper in here."